It is what it is.... WHAT?

In the past several years either the phrase "it is what it is" has been assimilated into the vernacular of more humans than F-bombs Rex Ryan drops in the whole season of HBO's HARD KNOCKS or I have just become more astute to it's usage.

I've heard athletes say it, politicians say it, CEOs say it, friends say it, and I think I even heard a 2-year-old say it...but he may have just been reciting all the words he knew and threw those in a coincidental order.

*Note to my friends who HAVE said "it is what it is" to me. No worries. I ain't mad at ya.*

Needless to say, this phrase bothers me. Don't get me wrong, there are probably times where this phrase is applicable and warranted (e.g. "How in the world can Brad not like peanut butter?" "It just is what it is.") We seem to throw this phrase out whenever there just isn't a good explanation for something, or we don't seem to have an explanation for something, or we are just to lazy to EXPLAIN the explanation to someone.

The phrase itself is really not my problem, it's the ideology behind the frequent usage of such a phrase that troubles me. I think the recent spike in the phrase's popularity stems from a mindset that many in our culture subscribe to: certain things just can't be change, so why try to.

Think about it. Most of the circumstances I've encountered "it is what it is" have been where someone is dismissing their own words or actions (or someone else's) as something that happened because THAT'S just the way she/he is and how she/he does things and everyone else should just get used to it.


Now, I am all for individuality, and I'm even 100% behind someone who, in their best knowledge of wisdom and discernment, made a choice and stands by it in retrospect when addressing questions from others. HOWEVER, I say 99% of the time someone says "it is what it is" the comment is meant more as a deflection and an implied "deal with it [punks]" (I added the "punks" part for effect).

Most recently I heard several people use the phrase to justify the Rex Ryan reference I alluded to earlier. For those who don't know, Rex is the coach of the New York Jet's. On the first episode of an HBO show called HARD KNOCKS that aired recently, Rex did not hold back from his apparent frequent use of profanity he employs while addressing his team. Tony Dungy, former coach of the Superbowl winning Indianapolis Colts (Go Horse!), was asked during an interview on the NFL Network what he thought about the show. Tony mentioned he didn't like Rex's use of language and said he wouldn't have a guy like that coaching his squad. Tony went on to suggest the Commisioner's office might be well served to intercede in this matter.

A flurry of responses from players, Rex himself, analysts, and random New Yorkers ensued. Most of which criticized Dungy for "looking down" on Rex. I heard several people, particularly those interviewed on a Manhattan street corner, use the phrase "it is what it is" and "let him be" and "if you don't like it, turn the channel" when defending the foul-mouthed coach.

Okay, first issue: Dungy was ASKED A QUESTION! And, because he is an honest dude, he gave an HONEST ANSWER about how he personally felt about it. If you want to tell a man to mind his own business, tell that to the interviewer (which I think was Dan Patrick) NOT the interviewee. I can't believe the negative reactions that have ignited towards Dungy in this scenario.

Second: What do you mean "it is what it is"? This boils down to the heart of what I'm getting at. Everything we do is a choice. Everything. Well, except for maybe death and paying taxes- but many people have chosen to try to avoid both of those as well...more have been successful avoiding the latter rather than the former. We CHOOSE what we say and how we say it, we CHOOSE how our reactions manifest themselves in a given situation, we CHOOSE the persona and public image that everyone sees. It's not "it is what it is" more fittingly "it is what I choose it to be".

Look, I've been known to use salty language at times, but it's something I'm trying to get better about NOT doing. That is CHOICE I have made for myself. Does Rex need to answer to anyone about how he speaks? Well, no one on this earth, but I think where Tony's coming from is that some players may not wish to hear F-bombs every third sentence. Or, more importantly to a coach, not all players may respond well to that.

Congruently, let's talk about the HBO show. True, it's a free country and no one is forced to watch that network or that show, so it is easy to just change the channel if you don't want to hear that language BUT what if a dad of a high school football star wants to see what it is like in The Big League? What if a kid LOVES the Jets? What about the avid football fan that wants to see the stuff that goes on behind the scenes? And what if those people are offended by what they hear? Again, you can say "well tough". But the NFL is a business. This show is a way to market itself...potentially getting younger or newer fans interested to increase viewership during the regular season. What if you alienate new customers? Someone may be turned off by the use of language but I don't think many people will consciously go "boy, I'd like this show and/or the NFL better if I heard more swearing."

On the broader spectrum, "it is what it is" IS running rampant. I've had people use the phrase to defend others I know because their behavior was cruel or embarrassing. I just don't buy it. If you care for someone and you see them saying or doing something that hurts themselves or someone else, why would you just brush it off as "oh, that's just [Insert Name Here], she/he is ALWAYS like that."

I would argue that it is our duty to care for each other, especially those closest to us. If we can help them better themselves, why wouldn't we speak up? But our society sees interceding in that way as abrasive and rude. I'd say if your intentions are pure and good, and you approach someone with love, that any effort made will NEVER be abrasive or rude.

I've seen too many lives change drastically, too many stories of 180-degree turns, and I've had too many of my own experiences to deny that someone will always be a certain way. "It is what it is"- only until it ISN'T. Nothing is set in stone my friends, except for the love our God has for us. This is a dynamic world and we are an AMAZINGLY dynamic people. I believe that's the way God wanted it, so no matter how deep in it we get, we can always turn completely around and the God who created everything will be waiting on us with open arms.

So my encouragement to everyone is to seek out the things you have in your own lives that all you can say to defend it is "it is what it is," and really think about what that means and what it would mean to be able to explain it with the wisdom and confidence of having an omnipotent God backing you up. That's how I've been challenging myself lately- would my actions/words get a thumbs up from Jesus.

In that way, I never have an "it is what it is" moment but a "it is what He wants it to be". It's a goal, it's a choice.

Lost in LOST (Part 1)

***Fair warning*** If you have NOT seen the show LOST and plan on watching all 6 seasons some time in the future- DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY. This is your official spoiler alert.

Over the past couple of months I have embarked on a bit of an endeavor, one I have approached with both an anxiousness and trepidation. Never has a television show, movie, musical album, or artwork ever create such a strong reaction in me as has the TV show LOST. For six seasons, I was enamored with the characters, flashbacks/flashforwards, and (of course) the secrets of the island.

From the beginning, I understood that in all likelihood I would never get ALL the answers I was looking for because there were just TOO many questions. Despite my willingness to be left in the dark to some degree, I STILL expected to get some of what I considered to be the BIG questions answered.

Nonetheless, after six years of anticipation, the two-hour finale left me empty, disappointed, annoyed, and saddened. I will get back to the finale in a another upcoming portion of this multi-parted post. I am currently at the halfway point (end of season 3) of my aforementioned endeavor back through each episode of the show that changed television.

As I go through each episode, I'm taking diligent notes. These notes can be very insightful now that I am able to look at each episode through the lens of knowing how it all ends. Why? You may ask am I doing such a thing. Is it because I'm a geek? I need a better hobby? I need a girlfriend? The answer to all of these questions is "oh, most definitely." But the answer to why is also because I have a hope upon hope that by rewatching the show I can find redemption for some (if not all) of the things I hated about the finale.

I hope I can find little hints, clues, truths, and insights planted deep within the past episodes that I may have missed going through it all before. Maybe, just maybe, the little nuggets I find will make me feel like we were more guided to the end of it all, instead of how I feel right now which is that in the last couple of seasons the show jumped around like a frog on a hot plate and completely hurdled characters, storylines, and secrets that deserved FAR more attention then they received.

Unfortunately, thus far in my research, no such miraculous nugget of a clue has been found. I will say this about LOST, they NEVER do things by accident. Seemingly unimportant dialogue or something insignificant found on the island always seems to pop up later with a much grander importance. In my research I have stumbled upon several of these pieces of dialogue or artifacts which, given my knowledge of the future, I know are never addressed.

So my question is: why put them in there in the first place? It is not the writers' style to just throw these things in there without purpose, so I have to assume that they were going in some direction with a storyline or character then simply cast it aside and went in another direction.

Don't get me wrong, I understand TV shows do this all the time. It stinks, but it happens. The reason I hold LOST to a higher standard than the rest is because the writers straight up said "we know where this is going, we have a beginning, a middle, and an end and the direction of the story is set." I believe all evidence of how the show started and where it ended demonstrate evidence to the contrary.

You can't claim because you know that the final shot of the show is going to be symmetrical with the first shot of the show that you have a story in place and know how you are getting from here to there. Nor can you say you know when it reaches the middle simply because flashbacks become flashforwards. Those aren't part of the story arc, they are just elements of HOW you are telling the story.

I also understand that due to situations out of the writers' control, they would have to make adjustments. When the actors playing Walt and Michael left the show, or even when the actors playing Libby and Ana Lucia had to leave the show, it could definitely have played a significant role in changing the finale (especially Walt's character). However, I still think the writers failed in this arena as well. Leaving many questions about Walt, specifically, completely out of the picture in the end. This is just one of the many ways I believe the writers trivialized characters and occurrences in the show.

Simply put, if you ask your audience to get invested emotionally and intellectually with characters, then you SHOULD bring closure to those characters. In so many interviews, DVD commentaries, and almost blatantly inside the context of the show, the writers have called the island a character unto itself. I like that! I love it! But if it is truly a character, the island deserved the same emotional and intellectual closure that was given to all the other characters in the finale.

This post could go on another 20-30 paragraphs, but I'll end here. To be continued, my friends, to be continued. Before I go into the WHAT I'M INTO's, I'll leave you with these questions:

Why did Ben say to Juliette "you never brought me sandwiches" when she was feeding a captive Jack in the Hydra station (season 3)? What was he referring to?

Why did Sawyer think Juliette was capable of killing Kate when he tried to escape from the Others? In fact, why WAS Juliette so at ease with killing Pickett? Where in her history did she show she was able to be a stoned-cold killing machine?

Why does a voice in episode 1 say that the noise coming from "The Monster" sounded familiar? Why did they say that it didn't sound natural? Did you notice the mechanical clanky sounds coming from "The Monster" in the first few seasons faded away in the last few?

Why the whispers whenever The Others come around? We found out they are just humans, so why the supernatural element?

Why would Locke/Eko see the smoke monster and see beauty and not be afraid if it was The Man in Black the whole time?

Why did Jack think Adam and Eve had only been there for 40to50 years if they had apparently been there for decades...centuries likely?

What was the deal with the sickness everyone was talking about in the first 3 seasons?

Why the big deal about Aaron needing to be raised by Claire? Where/when did that come to fruition?

How the heck did Ethan drag both Charlie and Claire through the woods?

Why was Walt special? How could he read Locke's mind when he touched him?

Why did the Dharma Initiative apparently think experiments were still going on in present day (sent food shipments)?

Why did Locke think the Black Rock was from Africa (Mozambique to be precise) if it ended up obviously not being from any where close to there?

Why did the 108 clock turn to hieroglyphics?

Why was Libby in the asylum with Hurley?

Why did the vacuum system from The Swan end up in a field in the middle of nowhere?

Why is Carl so willing to screw over Others while the flight attendant they took is so happy-go-lucky about being an Other?

Why did Pickett say "Shepherd wasn't even on Jacob's list." when obviously, he must have been? Later they say Kate was not on the list either?

Was the MAGIC BOX just completely made up?

Did the black smoke take pictures of Kate and Juliette?

There was a volcano on the island, so says Dharma lady in Ben flashback...apparently it exploded to??????????

If Jacob wasn't really in the cabin Ben to Locke to then what the heck happened in there????? What/who did we see?


WHAT I'M INTO:

Movie- I saw Dinner for Schmucks recently. Some very funny parts, but on the whole, not the best comedy I've ever seen. I'd give it a B+. Jemaine was pretty solid in it. Zack Gali......whatever his name is, was funny. Steve Carrell's character was just eh, not that great, and Paul Rudd really didn't even HAVE a character.

Song- "Lead me to the Cross" I found a verison of the song done by Seventh Day Slumber. I like it a lot. I try to pray every night using a line from that song: rid me of myself. There is so much I try to control, so much I try to take credit for, so much I fight God on day after day. I need this song in my life right now.

Bible Verse- "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20